Good habits don't live here anymore

Last week was not a great one. 2 days of workouts and not so great eating. The scale was down a bit (0.6 pounds to be exact) but it still was a lousy week.

I don't know where all my motivation went. The first couple of weeks I was doing so good. With eating and working out. And I was totally reaping the benefits: scale was going down, I felt good, no fluffiness, etc. But now it's just...meh.

The fluffs are creeping up on me. And I just feel awful. And like a complete failure.

But my definition of failure is giving up. And I am NOT giving up just yet. I'm in it for the long haul.

At least I hope so.

One month down

I just finished reading my last post....*facepalm*.

Remember how I said I was never going to see those 5 pounds again? Well, hello 1.4 pounds. It's nice to see you again.

Yes, I gained 1.4 pounds this past week. Man, that sucks.

But I can't say I'm surprised. I didn't work as hard as I should have been. I only got in 3 workouts (remember, my goal is 4) last week. And this weekend wasn't a really good one with my eating. Celebrations and craziness made me go a little bit overboard. So I can see where that 1.4 pounds came from.

So my total loss for the month was 3.6 pounds. It just doesn't sound right. Although I didn't work out as many days as I needed to, I did work out hard. I guess my eating kind of canceled it out. Bad eating is totally not worth it anymore. I mean, what's the point of sweating blood and working my butt off if I'm just going to ruin it by eating too much 1-2 days out of the week.

It looks like I may need to go back to the drawing board for this one.

A Slip-up

Last week was a hard one.

I only worked out 2 days. My goal is 4. I get a sad face in that area.

My eating hasn't been as good as it was those 2 first weeks. Too many unhealthy food choices on the weekend.

The scale totally felt my pain. I was down to 261.6. A measly 0.4 pound loss.


With me being a glass is half full kinda gal, I DO see the bright side:

I am finally down 5 pounds (woohoo!)
I haven't taken a sip of soda all week. And I can count on one hand how many times I have drank soda in the past 3 weeks.

And that's all I got.

But losing 5 pounds is a big deal because I will never see those 5 pounds again (ever). And not having so much soda is a huuuuge feat because I think Coca-Cola is the greatest invention ever and it was probably running through my veins not too long ago.

Water is now my new favorite beverage.

I think I've come a long way. =D

Happy Love Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Usually my V-day would be filled with lots of chocolate and lots of cake. But this is the 3rd week into my new "life" and that is just not acceptable (cue sad face).

Just kidding! No sad face for me. I have been eating right and working out and have lost almost 5 pounds these past 2 weeks. I really feel great. I have more energy. No food comas or food babies for this gal. And no more fluffy days!!

Well. I'm lying just a little bit. I did have one fluffy day last week. But I think that was more because of the clothes I chose to wear than how I looked. I just wasn't ready to pull off that outfit. But now I know better and will be staying away from that outfit for awhile. Or at least until I get enough balls to try it out again.

So what brought on this change you ask. Well, the boyfriend and I decided it was finally time to get healthy. He had been working out and was not seeing the results he wanted to see. And I was pretty much getting fatter and fatter by the minute. So, we put our heads together and came up with a plan. And this plan has been working like a charm for us. Well, it's only been 2 weeks so don't bring out the champagne glasses just yet. But I do want to say that it has been a successful two weeks and I don't see us giving up or quitting in the near future.

I would love to elaborate more on "our plan" but I don't want to jinx it. So you'll just have to stay tuned!! =D

We will now continue with our regularly scheduled program...

Wow. I had not realized it had been so long since I had been on here. Anybody still here?




Anybody?




No one?




Oh, well. I don't mind talking to myself. Besides, my narcissistic tendencies are starting to overpower me.

So much time has passed. And so much has happened.

Or maybe not so much.

Let's see. I have gained 14 pounds since my last recorded weigh-in (which was in July). Gasp! 14 pounds.

Eek! That's a lot. Wow (shaking my head)....sorry, I'm just shocked that I have gained that much. No wonder I was starting to feel heavy. No wonder I was starting to feel like a stuffed sausage about to explode from it's casing. No wonder my entire body was starting to moan and groan while all this strain was put on it.

My poor body.

It has gone through so much. And yet, it has never let me down. I have used and abused my body for more than 22 years. I have fed it with the most unhealthiest foods you can think of. I have let it sit idle while it screamed for activity. I have let it balloon to the size it is now.

And again, it has never let me down.

I have never had a major illness or sickness. Never broken bones or severely injured myself. Besides being overweight and the slight high blood pressure, I have never had any major problems with my health.

Never has my body failed me. And all my life, I have failed my body.

I truly am an ungrateful person. There are people battling for their lives because their bodies are giving up. There are people who are wishing they could run or walk or do normal physical activities, but can't because their bodies won't let them.

And here I am, with a body that would do anything to please me, and all I have done is laughed in its face and I have treated it with such inconsideration.

Writing this brings tears to my eyes because I can't believe I have been so careless. I can't believe I have been so evil and mean to something that has been so good to me. The way my body looks is my fault. But the way my body functions, moves and heals itself is a gift from God.

It is time to start showing a little gratitude for this precious gift.

I'm feeling Hefty

Well, I got a lot out of Reason #1. A whole day of working out. Not working out all day, but a workout. I'll explain.

My Tuesday had started off not so great. I had a crappy breakfast and ate some crappy food throughout the day. But then I got some things off my chest. And after that, I felt super duper awesome throughout the rest of the day. Especially at the gym. I hopped on to the elliptical machine and worked my little huge flat butt off. Yes, I pushed myself and kept going over and over that post in my head until I had completed one hour straight on that damn machine. My boyfriend was very impressed. Heck, I was impressed. And I never did believe in that whole talking to and pumping yourself up sort of thing. I guess I showed myself.

But I wasn't prepared to milk that one amazing feat for the next 2 days. You know what I'm talking about. "I ate a healthy breakfast and lunch, so one bag of Hershey kisses won't hurt me" or "I've been working out so good during the week, I'm going to eat whatever I want on the weekend." The whole justifying your bad habits is totally warped but I am a pro at it. So, because of one measly hour of amazing huffing and puffing, I gave myself 2 days off at the gym.

And my eating has been....there are no words.

Wait, yes there are.

Wednesday - Friday = fast food nation.

Seriously though, I am so tired of fast food. I am craving a good, light, home-cooked meal. Man, they are right. You are what you eat. I've been eating shit and now I look and feel like shit. Oh, how I hate when they are right.

To get rid of this crappy feeling, this weekend is going to be full of workouts and great, healthy, and yummy food. I will pump my chubby legs until they can't pumps no more. I will have to get my cook on as the head chef is on vacation here at Casa Fatty Pants. I'm thinking of trying to convince the boyfriend to fire up the grill for some BBQ tomorrow. Add lots and lots of water to that mix and this weekend should be gravy.

And maybe those 2 pounds, that I pretended to not see this morning on the scale, will be gone.

For good.

P.S. Obviously I'm not an expert, but seriously, if you are having a hard time getting through workouts or even starting a workout, think long and hard about one thing you want. To fit into some shorts, to lose 5 pounds, to not be so jealous of other girls (ahem), etc. Really, think about it. Think about that and only that. It'll make your workout a piece of cake. Trust me.

Reason #1

As far as I can remember, I have been an envier of other people's lives. I have envied that girl because her body is to die for. I have envied that girl because she wears the cutest outfits. I have envied that girl because she looks like she is always having fun. I could go on for days, but I'm sure you get my point.

The #1 reason why I envy is pretty obvious? I'm fat.

Being fat:

I am super insecure in my body.
I don't like going out because of that insecurity (Will people stare at me? Will people make fun of me?).
I can't enjoy myself when I'm out with my boyfriend (Do we look funny together, him being hot and me being...not?).
I don't get to wear the things I really want to wear, thus having no style whatsoever.
I don't approach people making it super hard for me to meet new people and make friends.

Again, I could go on and on but I'm sure you get my point.

I envy those girls with the uber confidence. Those girls who don't give a damn what other people think and just live their lives the way want to. I want to be one of those girls. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you have to be a certain size to have confidence. But for me, personally, I believe being at the weight I am has tons to do with my confidence.

Or I could be way off and I really am a goober.

But maybe, just maybe, I'm not.

I have only known myself as being this akward, heavy girl. I have no idea what kind of person I would be if I was happy and comfortable in my own skin because I have never been.

So really, am I this cool person, with lots of confidence and who is happy with herself trapped inside this blob dripping with negativity and self-doubt? Can I be the type of person who is not the envier but the enviee (trust me, that's a word. enviee - a person who is envied). Am I? Can I?

And to think I have held the solution to these questions in my chubby, sweaty hands for 17 years.

The answer is...all together, now...lose weight!

Yes, lose weight and get healthy. Challenge myself to lose the bad habits I have grown accustomed to over the years. Really see what I'm made of.

The first step to changing anything in life is admitting you have a problem.

My name is Little Miss Fatty Pants and I'm an envidiosa (it sounds so nice in Spanish but really it's not).

It's time to change that.