We will now continue with our regularly scheduled program...

Wow. I had not realized it had been so long since I had been on here. Anybody still here?




Anybody?




No one?




Oh, well. I don't mind talking to myself. Besides, my narcissistic tendencies are starting to overpower me.

So much time has passed. And so much has happened.

Or maybe not so much.

Let's see. I have gained 14 pounds since my last recorded weigh-in (which was in July). Gasp! 14 pounds.

Eek! That's a lot. Wow (shaking my head)....sorry, I'm just shocked that I have gained that much. No wonder I was starting to feel heavy. No wonder I was starting to feel like a stuffed sausage about to explode from it's casing. No wonder my entire body was starting to moan and groan while all this strain was put on it.

My poor body.

It has gone through so much. And yet, it has never let me down. I have used and abused my body for more than 22 years. I have fed it with the most unhealthiest foods you can think of. I have let it sit idle while it screamed for activity. I have let it balloon to the size it is now.

And again, it has never let me down.

I have never had a major illness or sickness. Never broken bones or severely injured myself. Besides being overweight and the slight high blood pressure, I have never had any major problems with my health.

Never has my body failed me. And all my life, I have failed my body.

I truly am an ungrateful person. There are people battling for their lives because their bodies are giving up. There are people who are wishing they could run or walk or do normal physical activities, but can't because their bodies won't let them.

And here I am, with a body that would do anything to please me, and all I have done is laughed in its face and I have treated it with such inconsideration.

Writing this brings tears to my eyes because I can't believe I have been so careless. I can't believe I have been so evil and mean to something that has been so good to me. The way my body looks is my fault. But the way my body functions, moves and heals itself is a gift from God.

It is time to start showing a little gratitude for this precious gift.

Out of oblivion...

...for now.

I love me a good 3-day weekend. Sleeping until 2 in the afternoon, getting 12 hours of sleep, eating whatever I want. What's not to love? That's exactly what I did this Memorial weekend. Relaxed ate some yummy Colombian and Mexican food. And then there was some pizza too. I watched lots of movies and cuddled with the boyfriend lots. It was the perfect weekend.

But now it's back to reality. And I have to face that one pound gain that I had last week. Ugh! Last week started off so good: my eating was on point and so was my working out. But then, like always, it turned to caca. I started eating lots of junk and I only made it to the gym 3 days. 3 days?!?! That's very upsetting especially since I pay so much in fees for the gym. I loathe wasting money (no I don't).

God Bless the start of a new week!

The boyfriend has inspired (more like bullied) me into to starting a new plan. He has been doing so good on his plan and he feels great (except for his sinuses that have been bothering him). And so I was like, "Hey, I want to feel good too. I need to get in on this." It's no big secret, he's just really watching what he eats.

So, the new plan is to journal everything. No more soda (sob), junk food, or sweets. And it's back to the gym this week. It's going to be tough, especially that no soda rule, but I think I can do it. I know you all are thinking "This chick sounds like a broken record. She says this EVERY Monday." But I'm for serious this time.

Seriously. =)

Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?

The party continues!!

Just kidding. I'm tired of wallowing in my self-pity. I just need to suck it up and take it like a man. I will not see results until I actually start doing something!

After yesterday's frightful eating, I knew the scale would not be happy with me. I was up 1.2 pounds for the week. But, oh no, I will not cry about it. Remember, I will not see results until I actually start doing something!

And I did get a workout in yesterday. 30 minutes of HIIT on the elliptical machine. I sweated buckets so a good workout it was, indeed.

Did you notice a new section over there -------->? Well, one of my big problems is I go through the drive-thru way too much. I also stop at the gas station or Kroger for little snacks and drinks that I really don't need. I tried not carrying money with me but that didn't work too much. So, I think I'm going to try the "shame on me" method. I'm pretty embarrassed at all the money I spend on junk food. But that's not enough to stop me. So maybe, if the entire blogging world saw how much I spent, I'd be a little less inclined to spend it. Catch my drift? This method may be totally useless but it's worth giving a shot.

My jeans were tight this morning, so I'm open to trying anything that will help me.

Enjoy your weekend. The weather will be supernice here, so I know I will!

Feels like I'm in a race, but I already won 1st place

All of that above is a little less than under 100 calories. Clementines are my new best friend!

I haven't been around because I haven't been doing much. My weigh-in this morning was pretty weak. I have gained 2.2 pounds. Yikes! Not really a good way to start of the New Year.

I know I've said this over and over, but seriously it's time for me to take this weight loss thing seriously. I will not waste another year being overweight. I just can't do it anymore.

Maybe I was onto something...

Monday 30 min. elliptical

Although I did work out last night (and it was a good one, too) I will still count yesterday as a bad day. I ate waaaay too much. Like, seriously. Someone brought in these whole wheat cinnamon things and even though they were whole wheat and had oatmeal in them, I'm sure eating as much of them as I did was not a good thing. But moving on.

I do have some good news. I put on this sweater that I hadn't worn since last year. Last time it fit, it was a bit snug. This morning, it fit perfectly. I guess I was doing something right these past weeks when I was working out diligently. It kind of makes me want to see what I can do working out every day and eating right. I wonder...

Lovely Tuesday!!

It's an ugly morning (weather-wise) but I'm in such a good mood because I got lots of sleep last night. The wonders a couple of extra hours of sleep could do!!! I'm enjoying it because it doesn't happen much.

The rest of last week's workouts went something like this:
Wednesday 30 min elliptical
Thursday 30 min elliptical
Friday No workout
Saturday 30 min elliptical
Sunday 30 min elliptical

(Can you tell I was getting bored with the Slim in 6 DVD? No worries, because I got it done last night.)

Monday SI6 Ramp It Up

I have to start working on the eating right part because at Sunday's weigh-in I was up 0.6 pounds. I thought I would have lost some because of all the cardio I was doing, but I guess I was cancelling it out with all the caca foods I was eating. Oh well, you win some you lose some.

I have also started thinking about stepping up my workouts to maximize my weight loss. I don't want to wear myself out with trying to do too much as I am just getting consistent with my workouts, but I think I can push myself a little harder. I have to come up with a serious plan of attack.

Caught this movie at the dollar show this past weekend:
I was pleasantly surprised. Movies are so predictable nowadays, but this one had me guessing all the way til' the end. It didn't hurt that Peter Sarsgaard came out in it, either.

Last night, I was feeling crafty so I pulled out my new Euro Pro Dressmaker II sewing machine. I've had it for about a couple of weeks now and I have yet to try it out. By the way, I am not a sewer. Anywho, I could not get the thing to work. Grrr!! I had problems loading the lower thread and the directions weren't very detailed so today I'm on the hunt for some extra help/tips. Either I find some help on-line or it's going back (which it really can't since the Boyfriend threw the box away) (thanks Boyfriend!!).

Day 2 (Take1,000,001)

Another day gone by.

My eating was atrocious; complete chaos.

But enough about that.

I just completed Day 2 of Slim in 6: Start It Up. My arms were KILLING me. But I got through it and, gracias a Dios, I survived.

By the by, if you are in serious need of a reality check, record yourself working out and then watch it. I did tonight to prove to my boyfriend that I did in fact work out. *shudders* It was very sobering =/.

P.S. Was anyone else kinda disappointed with Melrose Place??? I don't know about this one, it didn't really hold my attention. I kept switching back to Never Been Kissed! I'm hoping The Vampire Diaries isn't a let-down. I need something to watch now that True Blood is almost over.

Day 2...No-go

I didn't get to Day 2. I got into a tiff with Boyfriend, my calves were killing me, etc., etc. Really, there shouldn't have been any excuse for me not to work out. I was just too wrapped up in my self-pity. Yes, people, I'm a wallower.

I was once told that it isn't about MOTIVATION to get your butt moving/eating right, it's all about COMMITMENT. The commitment to sticking to a plan is the way to go. I have to really commit myself to losing weight or else I'm going to be stuck for the rest of my life.

For the rest of my life.

Gosh, that's a very scary thought. =/

A Long Weekend...

I survived last week and with a loss!

I was down on the scale 0.2 pounds! It ain't much but I will sure take it!!

Food wise, this weekend was a blur. I know I ate lots of junk food.

But I did get exercise in!

Friday: none
Saturday: 30 minutes on the elliptical
Sunday: 30 minutes on the elliptical
Monday: I almost didn't work out but ended up doing it at 10 o'clock at night while watching Paul Blart: Mall Cop. 30 minutes on the elliptical

I have finally come to the realization it's very counterproductive to be making the effort to work out if I'm not being conscious on what I'm eating. They just cancel each other out. And it kind of makes me mad because I could have had a bigger loss if I had been eating right.

I never seem to get working out and eating right at the same time. It's always one or the other. Grr!

P.S. I saw lots of movies this weekend: Bolt, My Bloody Valentine, Valkyrie (I was very surprised by this one. I thought I wasn't going to like it, but it was really good), Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and Angels and Demons. I <3 movies!

Ummm...

I wasn't going to post today because yesterday wasn't such a great day for me. I got one of those "throw everything in your mouth" urges. And when I got home from work, I did just that.

Wednesday
Breakfast: oatmeal, almonds, raisins, orange juice
Snack: 2 toffee-ettes
Lunch: rice, chicken breast, chard
snack: Fiber one Bar, Cantaloupe, strawberries
Mini Binge: more toffee-ettes, handful of doritos, 1 black bean brownie, 2 tootsie rolls, handful of dried apricots
Dinner: rice, 2 baby potatoes, roasted chicken, beet salad (beets, carrots, tomatoes, avocado...so good!), coke

No exercise.

My binge could have been a lot worse. Good thing there isn't much in the house that can do much damage. I don't know what happened. I wasn't hungry or anything. I just wanted to eat. It was just something to do. I really have to work on that.

I was going through some old photos last night. There were some of me when I lost a ton of weight about 5 years ago. I want to look like that again. I want that feeling of accomplishment I used to get when I saw how small I was getting. I want to be that disciplined again. I still have the clothes that I bought when I lost the weight and I want to fit into them. I can see my mind starting to think like it did back then, but I have a long way to go.

Satan says I think about it way too much. I think about how hard it's going to be, about how long it's going to take, about how much longer I have to go, etc., etc. He says to just do it already! It's just hard not to think about it because it's such a big deal right now. That's another thing I have to work on.

My brain hurts.