I have a secret.
Okay, I have lots of secrets.
I don't recognize myself in the mirror anymore.
I feel so unpretty.
My underwear keep rolling under my stomach.
I'm scared of getting diabetes or dying of a heart attack (runs in the family).
I break out in a sweat for doing absolutely nothing at all.
I hate being around skinny people. Just makes me feel THAT much fatter.
I save living my life for later, for "after I lose the weight".
That is why I am here. To take control over my weight so that it doesn't control me. Life is so short, and tomorrow isn't guaranteed. I can't keep saving everything for later. I need to do it today. And I know, if I lose all this weight, I can start doing just that.
Maybe I'm wrong to let what I look like have such an impact on how I live my life but it is what it is. Maybe my way of thinking will change as time goes by, but I'm not willing to risk wasting any more time. I've wasted enough already.
3 weeks ago