Good habits don't live here anymore

Last week was not a great one. 2 days of workouts and not so great eating. The scale was down a bit (0.6 pounds to be exact) but it still was a lousy week.

I don't know where all my motivation went. The first couple of weeks I was doing so good. With eating and working out. And I was totally reaping the benefits: scale was going down, I felt good, no fluffiness, etc. But now it's just...meh.

The fluffs are creeping up on me. And I just feel awful. And like a complete failure.

But my definition of failure is giving up. And I am NOT giving up just yet. I'm in it for the long haul.

At least I hope so.

One month down

I just finished reading my last post....*facepalm*.

Remember how I said I was never going to see those 5 pounds again? Well, hello 1.4 pounds. It's nice to see you again.

Yes, I gained 1.4 pounds this past week. Man, that sucks.

But I can't say I'm surprised. I didn't work as hard as I should have been. I only got in 3 workouts (remember, my goal is 4) last week. And this weekend wasn't a really good one with my eating. Celebrations and craziness made me go a little bit overboard. So I can see where that 1.4 pounds came from.

So my total loss for the month was 3.6 pounds. It just doesn't sound right. Although I didn't work out as many days as I needed to, I did work out hard. I guess my eating kind of canceled it out. Bad eating is totally not worth it anymore. I mean, what's the point of sweating blood and working my butt off if I'm just going to ruin it by eating too much 1-2 days out of the week.

It looks like I may need to go back to the drawing board for this one.

A Slip-up

Last week was a hard one.

I only worked out 2 days. My goal is 4. I get a sad face in that area.

My eating hasn't been as good as it was those 2 first weeks. Too many unhealthy food choices on the weekend.

The scale totally felt my pain. I was down to 261.6. A measly 0.4 pound loss.


With me being a glass is half full kinda gal, I DO see the bright side:

I am finally down 5 pounds (woohoo!)
I haven't taken a sip of soda all week. And I can count on one hand how many times I have drank soda in the past 3 weeks.

And that's all I got.

But losing 5 pounds is a big deal because I will never see those 5 pounds again (ever). And not having so much soda is a huuuuge feat because I think Coca-Cola is the greatest invention ever and it was probably running through my veins not too long ago.

Water is now my new favorite beverage.

I think I've come a long way. =D

Happy Love Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Usually my V-day would be filled with lots of chocolate and lots of cake. But this is the 3rd week into my new "life" and that is just not acceptable (cue sad face).

Just kidding! No sad face for me. I have been eating right and working out and have lost almost 5 pounds these past 2 weeks. I really feel great. I have more energy. No food comas or food babies for this gal. And no more fluffy days!!

Well. I'm lying just a little bit. I did have one fluffy day last week. But I think that was more because of the clothes I chose to wear than how I looked. I just wasn't ready to pull off that outfit. But now I know better and will be staying away from that outfit for awhile. Or at least until I get enough balls to try it out again.

So what brought on this change you ask. Well, the boyfriend and I decided it was finally time to get healthy. He had been working out and was not seeing the results he wanted to see. And I was pretty much getting fatter and fatter by the minute. So, we put our heads together and came up with a plan. And this plan has been working like a charm for us. Well, it's only been 2 weeks so don't bring out the champagne glasses just yet. But I do want to say that it has been a successful two weeks and I don't see us giving up or quitting in the near future.

I would love to elaborate more on "our plan" but I don't want to jinx it. So you'll just have to stay tuned!! =D

We will now continue with our regularly scheduled program...

Wow. I had not realized it had been so long since I had been on here. Anybody still here?




Anybody?




No one?




Oh, well. I don't mind talking to myself. Besides, my narcissistic tendencies are starting to overpower me.

So much time has passed. And so much has happened.

Or maybe not so much.

Let's see. I have gained 14 pounds since my last recorded weigh-in (which was in July). Gasp! 14 pounds.

Eek! That's a lot. Wow (shaking my head)....sorry, I'm just shocked that I have gained that much. No wonder I was starting to feel heavy. No wonder I was starting to feel like a stuffed sausage about to explode from it's casing. No wonder my entire body was starting to moan and groan while all this strain was put on it.

My poor body.

It has gone through so much. And yet, it has never let me down. I have used and abused my body for more than 22 years. I have fed it with the most unhealthiest foods you can think of. I have let it sit idle while it screamed for activity. I have let it balloon to the size it is now.

And again, it has never let me down.

I have never had a major illness or sickness. Never broken bones or severely injured myself. Besides being overweight and the slight high blood pressure, I have never had any major problems with my health.

Never has my body failed me. And all my life, I have failed my body.

I truly am an ungrateful person. There are people battling for their lives because their bodies are giving up. There are people who are wishing they could run or walk or do normal physical activities, but can't because their bodies won't let them.

And here I am, with a body that would do anything to please me, and all I have done is laughed in its face and I have treated it with such inconsideration.

Writing this brings tears to my eyes because I can't believe I have been so careless. I can't believe I have been so evil and mean to something that has been so good to me. The way my body looks is my fault. But the way my body functions, moves and heals itself is a gift from God.

It is time to start showing a little gratitude for this precious gift.

I'm feeling Hefty

Well, I got a lot out of Reason #1. A whole day of working out. Not working out all day, but a workout. I'll explain.

My Tuesday had started off not so great. I had a crappy breakfast and ate some crappy food throughout the day. But then I got some things off my chest. And after that, I felt super duper awesome throughout the rest of the day. Especially at the gym. I hopped on to the elliptical machine and worked my little huge flat butt off. Yes, I pushed myself and kept going over and over that post in my head until I had completed one hour straight on that damn machine. My boyfriend was very impressed. Heck, I was impressed. And I never did believe in that whole talking to and pumping yourself up sort of thing. I guess I showed myself.

But I wasn't prepared to milk that one amazing feat for the next 2 days. You know what I'm talking about. "I ate a healthy breakfast and lunch, so one bag of Hershey kisses won't hurt me" or "I've been working out so good during the week, I'm going to eat whatever I want on the weekend." The whole justifying your bad habits is totally warped but I am a pro at it. So, because of one measly hour of amazing huffing and puffing, I gave myself 2 days off at the gym.

And my eating has been....there are no words.

Wait, yes there are.

Wednesday - Friday = fast food nation.

Seriously though, I am so tired of fast food. I am craving a good, light, home-cooked meal. Man, they are right. You are what you eat. I've been eating shit and now I look and feel like shit. Oh, how I hate when they are right.

To get rid of this crappy feeling, this weekend is going to be full of workouts and great, healthy, and yummy food. I will pump my chubby legs until they can't pumps no more. I will have to get my cook on as the head chef is on vacation here at Casa Fatty Pants. I'm thinking of trying to convince the boyfriend to fire up the grill for some BBQ tomorrow. Add lots and lots of water to that mix and this weekend should be gravy.

And maybe those 2 pounds, that I pretended to not see this morning on the scale, will be gone.

For good.

P.S. Obviously I'm not an expert, but seriously, if you are having a hard time getting through workouts or even starting a workout, think long and hard about one thing you want. To fit into some shorts, to lose 5 pounds, to not be so jealous of other girls (ahem), etc. Really, think about it. Think about that and only that. It'll make your workout a piece of cake. Trust me.

Reason #1

As far as I can remember, I have been an envier of other people's lives. I have envied that girl because her body is to die for. I have envied that girl because she wears the cutest outfits. I have envied that girl because she looks like she is always having fun. I could go on for days, but I'm sure you get my point.

The #1 reason why I envy is pretty obvious? I'm fat.

Being fat:

I am super insecure in my body.
I don't like going out because of that insecurity (Will people stare at me? Will people make fun of me?).
I can't enjoy myself when I'm out with my boyfriend (Do we look funny together, him being hot and me being...not?).
I don't get to wear the things I really want to wear, thus having no style whatsoever.
I don't approach people making it super hard for me to meet new people and make friends.

Again, I could go on and on but I'm sure you get my point.

I envy those girls with the uber confidence. Those girls who don't give a damn what other people think and just live their lives the way want to. I want to be one of those girls. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you have to be a certain size to have confidence. But for me, personally, I believe being at the weight I am has tons to do with my confidence.

Or I could be way off and I really am a goober.

But maybe, just maybe, I'm not.

I have only known myself as being this akward, heavy girl. I have no idea what kind of person I would be if I was happy and comfortable in my own skin because I have never been.

So really, am I this cool person, with lots of confidence and who is happy with herself trapped inside this blob dripping with negativity and self-doubt? Can I be the type of person who is not the envier but the enviee (trust me, that's a word. enviee - a person who is envied). Am I? Can I?

And to think I have held the solution to these questions in my chubby, sweaty hands for 17 years.

The answer is...all together, now...lose weight!

Yes, lose weight and get healthy. Challenge myself to lose the bad habits I have grown accustomed to over the years. Really see what I'm made of.

The first step to changing anything in life is admitting you have a problem.

My name is Little Miss Fatty Pants and I'm an envidiosa (it sounds so nice in Spanish but really it's not).

It's time to change that.

....

It's been a ghost town around here.

Not because I've been bad, just because I haven't had a chance to log in.

Now I'm not going to mislead you and say I have been excellent because, honestly, I haven't.

But I am back in the gym. Hooray!! Even though I almost died last night in my Kickbox Jam class, hooray!!

The eating is still not under control. Boo.

I'm down 1.6 pounds for the week. Double hooray! I guess the working out is paying off.

So, slowly but surely I'm getting to the 240's. So stoked about that.

And that's all I've got.

Have a great holiday weekend!!

So....

I took a break this past week from weight loss. I ate what I wanted. I haven't stepped in the gym since last Tuesday. I just haven't been into it. And even though I am one hundred pounds overweight, it's OK.

But to tell you the truth, I feel awful. I'm bloated. I'm cranky. And I just don't feel right.

I still wouldn't feel right trying to get back into it, though. My head isn't there. At least not yet.

I've given myself until Saturday night. Ready or not, I need to get into weight loss mode starting Sunday morning. And the right way. So once and for all, I can lose the weight and keep it off.

Because seriously, I am starting to get sick of this blog.

What's a weight loss blog without any weight loss?

*******************************************

I finally braved the scale this morning. Up 2 pounds. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I actually thought I'd be up to 260 because of all the chips and cookies and soda I've been having. But thank gosh, it's only 2 pounds.

That's only 18,900 calories I need to burn starting on Sunday to get under the 250's.

Psssh....piece of cake. =/

Back...

and the weather sucks!!!

The weather was so nice in LA - sunny days, cool nights. My kind of weather. But now I'm back to reality to this 90 degree, stifling hot, I-can't-breathe Georgia heat. Yuck!

My weekend in LA was fabulous. I spent lots of time with my family and I'm happy about that because that was the whole purpose of the trip. But my family is crazy. And it's nice to be back to peace and quiet. =)

I didn't do too badly on this trip. I think. I did eat a lot but not as much as I thought I would be eating. The saddest part about everything is I didn't even get my Pizookie. I seriously wanted one but never got the chance. Who knows how long I have to wait until I get another chance to get one.

But it's Monday, and you know what that means. "It's a new day and I know I can do this!" Lol Yup, it's that kind of Monday. Except I already had a crappy breakfast. But it's no biggie, I just have to keep on keepin' on. I really need to go to the gym but I am still kind of exhausted from the trip and I just might stay home tonight and catch up on some zzzzzz's.

Oh yes, I forgot. I finally got my love back. Yes, my scale. I stepped on it last night and it wasn't where I wanted it to be. But Friday is thee day so I'm hoping I can get back on point so that I am finally out of the 250's. You don't know how bad I want to see a 2 and a 4. I know my eating habits and my laziness say otherwise, but seriously, I want to be there. Because then I will be that much closer to the 230's, then the 220's, and so on and so on.

Wow, I really need to get on this.

What the????

Where has the time gone? I can't believe it has been more than a week since my last post.

Not much has happened though. I have spent some time at the gym. I've had a few good eating days. I've had a few (maybe a tad more than a few) bad eating days. But I'm still here.

My scale is MIA at the moment. Well, not exactly missing because I know who has it. I just don't when I'll get it back. It's kind of nice not being a slave to the scale. Not!! I want to know if I've gained any weight or if I am finally under 250. I am seriously dying to know. Plus, I hate not being able to update my weigh-ins on the side over there ------>.

I just feel so....incomplete.

All joking aside, I'll weigh myself when I weigh myself. I am really hoping that I get MY scale back. I'm kind of attached to it. Besides, it's really pretty. And I love it. And I don't want to start messing with a new scale and come back with a totally different weight. You know how all scales are not created equal, right? But that saying is in regards to the quality of the scale and not how good of a liar it is. Am I right? Or am I way off?

I'm really trying to get back on track. Obviously, not today because my breakfast consisted of chocolate milk and donuts. But I should be good the rest of the day. And I'm planning on going to the gym. Unless I take a glorious nap when I get home and don't wake up until tomorrow morning. I am that exhausted.

And I have to get on track because I'll he heading to Los Angeles in a couple of days. I'm going to spend some much needed quality time with the familia. And quality time means eating some of my favorite foods that I haven't had in almost a year. And favorite means yummy carne asada tacos from King Taco, a pizookie from BJ's and yummy yummy chili cheese fries from The Hat. Yes, people, that's how fat I am. I have my meals planned out.

Oh, gosh, I need help.

Working on it...

I had a minor setback yesterday. An Arby's setback, to be exact. It was delicious! But it was so bad of me. But, I've already been reprimanded by the boyfriend so it's time to move on.

Because of that setback, I had a rumbly in my tumbly. And it wasn't a hunger rumbly. So I opted out of the gym. And I took a nap for 3 glorious hours. It was awesome.

The scale was very good to me this morning. There was a loss of 1 pound, so I'm back down to what I was a couple of weeks ago. I still deserve that 5 pound lost button!

Yay me!

I'm very confident that the scale will be even lower at my next weigh in. Today I'm continuing on the good fight with good eating habits and a good workout at the gym. But I'm really, really craving McDonald's right now. Specifically those chocolate pies. They're so good. Maybe after my snack of yogurt and berries I won't crave them so much (wishful thinking?).

I don't want chocolate pies. I don't want chocolate pies. I don't want chocolate pies...

It's Friday. Hallelujah! Have a great weekend!

Smile...

...though your heart is aching.

Today is a tough day. Today, June 3rd, is the 2ND anniversary of my dad's death. I miss him so much. It's been a while since I've cried thinking about him. It's gotten a bit easier, I guess. But I still miss him. Some times, at the most randomest moments, memories of the day that I received the phone call that changed my life forever, pop into my head. But most times, I am thinking about the memories I have of him. The funny things he did to make me laugh. The sacrifices he made for me, my brother and my sister. Just the little things that made him so special.

Gosh, I really do miss him.

I'm not in the mood for much blogging so I'll just tell you that I had a very good day with my eating on Wednesday. And I finished off the day with a great workout.

=)

Staying on track...

...is harder than it looks.

But it's not impossible. Yesterday was proof of that. Well, almost.

The morning started off great. I had my turkey and tomato sandwich and then I threw in a banana. I drank my 16 oz. of water. I was feeling good. As I got closer to lunchtime, I could feel those snacking urges kick in. But nope, I waited until lunch and had a delicious serving of red beans and rice with an apple. I also polished off my second glass of agua. It started getting a little tougher as the day wore on. I got to eat my yummylicious snack of yogurt, berries and almonds. But that wasn't holding me over until I got home. So, my eating took a turn for the worst by me consuming some Nutter Butters, then some animal crackers, and finally some cheddar cheese rice cakes. Now, of course, I'm exaggerating and they were the mini kinds and I ate, maybe, only like 5 of each (except for those nutter butters!!). Although, I went off my path for a bit I finished the day out right with a healthy dinner and the rest of my water.

And there was no soda involved.

It also helps that I had an uhmazing workout. I finished up my night at the gym with some steam room time and I was walking on cloud nine. The steam room is heavenly. If you have one at your gym (or better yet, your house) and you haven't tried it, you are seriously missing out.

Although, my day wasn't perfect, it sure was good enough. For me, anyway. Besides, who wants perfect? I like a challenge.

=)

Out of oblivion...

...for now.

I love me a good 3-day weekend. Sleeping until 2 in the afternoon, getting 12 hours of sleep, eating whatever I want. What's not to love? That's exactly what I did this Memorial weekend. Relaxed ate some yummy Colombian and Mexican food. And then there was some pizza too. I watched lots of movies and cuddled with the boyfriend lots. It was the perfect weekend.

But now it's back to reality. And I have to face that one pound gain that I had last week. Ugh! Last week started off so good: my eating was on point and so was my working out. But then, like always, it turned to caca. I started eating lots of junk and I only made it to the gym 3 days. 3 days?!?! That's very upsetting especially since I pay so much in fees for the gym. I loathe wasting money (no I don't).

God Bless the start of a new week!

The boyfriend has inspired (more like bullied) me into to starting a new plan. He has been doing so good on his plan and he feels great (except for his sinuses that have been bothering him). And so I was like, "Hey, I want to feel good too. I need to get in on this." It's no big secret, he's just really watching what he eats.

So, the new plan is to journal everything. No more soda (sob), junk food, or sweets. And it's back to the gym this week. It's going to be tough, especially that no soda rule, but I think I can do it. I know you all are thinking "This chick sounds like a broken record. She says this EVERY Monday." But I'm for serious this time.

Seriously. =)

I could sleep all day...

Last night, I didn't get to bed until really late. The boyfriend and I got into chatting and time just flew by. I know what I'll be catching up on this weekend.

This morning's weigh in was a nice one. I'm down 1.6 pounds for the week. High fives all around!! And I am at the lowest that I have been since I started this whole mess!!

Yesterday, I went to my beloved Kickbox Jam class. Seriously, guys, I love this class. I sweat so much and get some cardio out of it. Plus, the instructor is a fun guy. I'm really sad that this class is only taught a couple times a week. And I am only able to make it to two days. Sad face from me.

My eating was just ok. I was a Snacky McSnackerson yesterday. But better than I have been. And Praise Jesus, those chocolate chip cookies are gone. I don't have much plans for the weekend, so I will concentrate on the eating.

I just realized that I've lost 5 pounds!! Woo hoo!! It's not a lot but it's something. And it's that much closer to 10 pounds!! I think I deserve a reward.

Thank you Scale Junkie!

Have a great weekend!!

Time is on my side...

Yes, it is.

Actually time is just flying by. I can't believe it's almost Friday already. And I can't believe it's almost June!!

Tuesday workout
30 minutes on the treadmill
30 minutes on the elliptical

Wednesday workout
20 minutes on the treadmill
20 minutes on the elliptical
Weights

I've decided to go back to my roots and start working out on the elliptical machine again. It's such a great workout with not too much strain on my knees, so I'm loving it.

I've been a bit better on the eating front. I did make the mistake of baking some chocolate chip cookies the other day, so the cookie monster inside me has escaped. But the cookies are almost gone (I'm hoping by the time I get home tonight), so he'll get tucked away soon enough.

Tonight is Kickbox Jam night at the gym!! Woo hoo!!

(Look how far I've come...I'm actually looking forward to working out!!)

Today is not Monday...

but I'm going to recap the weekend anyway.

On Friday, the boyfriend and I decided to take a day off from the gym. We went out to eat with a friend instead.

I actually woke up at 9:30 in the morning on Saturday to get to a Kickbox Jam class. I told you I loved that class. It's going to be my Thursday and Saturday workout from now on. After the gym, me and the boyfriend ran all over town doing errands. I was beat by the time we got home.

Sunday was a lazy day. I love those days. Sleeping in, staying in your jammies all day. Those are my kind of days!!

Yesterday, I had one of the best workouts that I've had in a long time. 20 minutes on the elliptical, 20 minutes on the treadmill, and 20 minutes on the cross ramp. Plus, lots of weights. I was at the gym for 2 hours. Whoa!! I think I spend way too much time there. But it's all for a good cause, right?

On the eating front, well, you know how that goes. But I'm slowly starting to grasp the idea that my workouts are pretty much going down the drain if I continue to eat loads of junk food. Seriously, what's the point of working my butt off at the gym if I'm going to stuff my face with chips and McDonald's? I do love that stuff, but I need to have them more as a treat and not on a daily basis. I'm not there yet, but I am really trying to get there.

Did you guys hear about Juan Carlos Cruz??? So bizarre! And I used to love his show 'Weighin In' and 'Calorie Commando'! =(

Some workouts and a weigh in...

First thing to get off my chest is my weigh in. It was not a pretty one. I was up 1.2 pounds for the week. That really sucks.

I have been doing really good with the workouts. I have been to the gym every day this week and have gotten some pretty good sweat sessions in. But from that weigh in, you can tell my eating hasn't been very good. It still hasn't clicked in my head that "hey, just because I'm working out doesn't mean I can eat whatever I want." It's not that hard of a concept, but I'm a real hard head (just ask my boyfriend and my mom). So who knows when it'll start to dawn on me that if I want to see some real, true results, I'm going to have to start working on my eating.

I tried the Hip Hop class the other day. It was a big NO NO. I did not like it one bit. It started off great with the warm up but then it turned into one big routine. Now, I used to be a cheerleader (I know, hard to believe) so I am all for learning routines. But not learning them in 20 minutes! Let's just say I didn't get the routine down and I looked like a fool. It was not fun for me at all.

I was starting to think that taking classes at the gym would be a lost cause until last night. I took the Kickbox Jam class. I L-O-V-E-D it!! It was so much fun!! It wasn't so much a routine. More like a bunch of moves put together. There were times when I was lost, but I was having too much fun to really care how I looked. And I left the class drenched in sweat. This is definitely going to go on the workout regime.

I also tried a Core class last night. Big mistake. I am way too big to be taking a class like that. We had to use those balance trainers. I seriously thought I was going to pop mine. The concept of the class is a great one because I really felt the burn, but at my weight, it's just not a comfortable class for me to take. =(

So pretty much all those workouts went to waste with my eating habits. Grrr! Come on, Little Miss Fatty Pants!!! This isn't rocket science. This shouldn't be THAT hard!! What the heck am I waiting for?!?!

I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me...

Made it to the gym last night. I was fighting with the boyfriend to not go to the gym. But he won (very unusual) and we ended up going. I felt really good afterward. I hate it when he's right!!

Got in 30 minutes on the cross ramp and about half an hour with the weights. I finally got back into squats. They hurt so good, but they make me feel ALIVE!! I love feeling the burn!! But two days of weights and my arms feel like they are going to fall off.

I have a new gym buddy so tonight we are going to try a class. I'm finally taking advantage of what this gym has to offer (and finally getting my money's worth!). It's a hip hop class so we'll see how that goes.

One more thing, I saw this vid and I am utterly amazed at this kid's talent. His performance seriously gave me goosebumps. You've probably seen it already (he's going to be on ELLEN tomorrow) but watch it again...it's amazing!